Saturday, June 22, 2013

The gates of Craigslist Personals

A webpage that hasnt needed to grow up, has never needed a pretty GUI, has never had ads plastered all over it, is also one of the worlds most frequented webpages. Craigslist has become the go to place to sell and buy things on the cheap. It has been the talk of the media multiple times riddled with scams and violent crimes that originated with the utilization of the simplistic interface and the false sense of security people often feel when interacting with such a visually basic webpage. It looks like a newspaper. Even the personals section appears to have derived from the newspaper classifieds section that we all used to love to gander at. In my journey to understand more about Craigslist personals, and its effects on people I have strangely found myself lured in and addicted to knowing more, understanding more, and seeing more. I cannot lie, at this point Craigslist personals definitely appeals to me. Even when you begin to think about what is potentially going on in the background of this website that has such a simple interface, a website that has become a common household reference for on this and you get filled with paranoia, fear, and the thirst for knowledge, and human understanding, you are drawn deeper into the depths of addiction. Look at it this way: When a person anonymously posts something in an attempt to fulfill some sort of sexual fantasy, or in an attempt to connect with another human, they are putting an ad up that is viewable to the entire world. I know, it's supposed to be anonymous, but this information is highly valuable. It's information that could potentially be used someday to blackmail, coerce, manipulate, etc the person who posted the ad. I am not saying I have any evidence this takes place, nor am I discrediting Craigslist without any evidence. I am simply writing this to add more conspiring theoretical garbage to the web, in hopes that I will someday be right. Anyways, let's get back to the part in the story where you posted an ad in craigslist personals, in your attempt to follow suit of other ads you have browsed you clearly state your intentions, what you are looking for, your age, your general location, maybe a picture and sometimes even your phone number. (Yes, I've been stupid enough to do this a time or twenty) Now lets say you get some responses to your ad, (everybody gets responses, btw) these responses come to your personal email address that you entered when you posted the ad. So now you've got an inbox of responses, most never meet even the minimum requirement you set forth in ur ad "no pic no reply" or be hwp, under 50, etc etc. Naturally you probably wont respond to these people, unless you run out of options, watch out! Then there are a select few that you may believe are legitimate responses, and this is where my theory comes into play. None of this is based on any sort of evidence, but over the course of years of getting sucked into the Craigslist personals, I have come up with this theory. There are a lot of people in this world that do not approve of homosexual, transsexual, bisexual, or other alternative lifestyles. If you browse craigslist personal ads you will be apalled, confused, intrigued, scared, turned on, etc etc. It is a very interesting world, and you cant help but say to yourself, there is no way there are this many freaks out there. Some world leaders, and world organizations, naturally do not approve of these lifestyles, as they are viewed as placing shame on individuals families, races of people, countries, towns, etc. There is a large number of people in the Phoenix classifieds that are obviously hooked on a powerful and addictive substance often called Tina, as this substances holds more of their life, the individuals seem to lose sense of themself in a powerful, almost carnal addiction, that harbors permiscuity, self hatred, and continued reliance on the only thing that makes them feel alive after time, Tina. The Tina reference is only one of many paths a person seems to eventually choose once in the craigslist black hole. Naturally this would put this next thought in my mind. Large and powerful organizations have a significant opportunity to align more "sheep" (referring to those blindly following the masses) with their agenda. The "sheep" or the lost lonely souls of craigslist personal ads are still people though. I believe, lost, or lonely, you are still alive. I dont believe we die until we have accomplished the things we were needed and botn to accomplish while here. I am not in any way disassociating myself from the lost and lonely souls, as I said before, craigslist has a strange power that leads to addiction in desire for the unknown. So lets just say theoretically there are a few powerful organizations that collectively makeup the darkness, the light, and the power associated with craigslist personal ads. You can never be too careful when putting something like this out into the world, so I will not name any organizations, groups, or individuals that I theoretically believe play a major role in manipulating the lost and lonely. Let's go back to your inbox. Remember you had all those responses, or maybe you only had a few. Out of the responses you got, let's say you respond to three. The three you respond to now have your email address, and any other information you decided to entrust in this stranger. This also directly associates you with the ad you posted. Now take it a step further. Let's say of the three messages you respond to, you decide to take the leap into the unknown, and meet this person. They may come to your house or you may go to theirs. You may meet up outside, or in a car, or in a hotel. This person you are meeting is either legitimate, or they aren't. You probably wont be able to tell which one they are for a while, if ever. In my theory, some of the people involved in craigslist personals (the people im talking about are the ones with an easily noticeable record of consistency in their frequency in posting ads, their placement of ads in multiple cities in different states, and their methodical, almost robotic and emotionless verbal and written/typed/texted interaction with the lost lonely souls. My understanding of human nature is, we all crave interaction with others, we are social animals that require emotional intercourse, as often, if not more often than the morally void, physical interaction, that is often the result of at least one person's faded ability to discern wrong from right as they have continued to try and feed the monster growing inside of them. Again, this is my conspiring mind, not necessarily the truth. Regardless, I hope those that have read this post will take something away from it, and have learned something. If anything, I am sure it has made you think, and probably opened your eyes a little wider. We all have a monster inside of us, its up to us to starve it.

I'm sure I will have more to write about in regards to the life of a Craigslist personals Junkie, so please come back for more. Or comment, and tell me how you feel about my comments.

One last time, I must reitirate, I am not claiming any of the information contained in this post is based on what is often referred to as "hard evidence.". I have experienced Craigslist with my own body, mind, and soul and in trade have taken years off my life, not to mention the significant hurdles it has caused for me personally, all due to my thirst for knowledge and understanding; My desire to travel where few men have traveled before; My persistence in fulfilling my own selfish agenda of ultimate exploration and true spiritual connection and understandig. This is my interpretation of experiences so take it or leave it. If you believe all of this to be factual and reference or quote any of the information I have written, in speculation, in an effort to promote your personal or organization's agenda, please provide me with your information, including full legal name and address, so I can send you a thank you card for referencing my blog and scamming off of my sacrifices instead of doing your own research. Basically what I'm saying is, do some research on ur own, educate yourself, then talk to me about what you think you know. I do not recommend entering the Gates of Craigslist personals, but if you choose to do so, there is a lot to be learned, and to be shared.

Friday, June 7, 2013

Painted clear

I hide Behind a bottle of whiskey
I hide Behind a burning cigarette
I hide behind myself
All Life continues...
My Life seems to remain
Holding onto extinct feelings
Living to feel what cant be felt
Desires to feel it all once again
Wanting to feel loved
Wanting to feel needed
Wanting to feel euphoric
Wanting to just.... feel
Feel Physical feelings
Feel Fleeting feelings
Please fucking let me feel something
But, Feelings never return
Scared
Lonely
Insecure
I dive forward
Leaping Into an abyss of perceived feelings
Breathing expired air
Living for what is no more
I am afraid of tomorrow
I am afraid of yesterday
I am afraid of perception
Once I felt so good
Once i felt so bad
Once, i fucking felt
Feelings never recall themselves
Feelings never care
Feelings are impossible to recreate
I offer words of manipulative wisdom
I offer helping hands
I offer my physical self
Thus, I die every day
Deeper i sink into recollection
Hiding behind the nonsense i speak
Hiding behind perceived intellect
Hiding behind .....my .... Self
Perceived intellect and advice as follows:
Feel alive just one time
Chase that feeling
Chase love
Chase life
Chase the high
Chasing and never leading
Living for moments once had
our feelings become paint
On the canvas of lives we've touched
Our lives, they are our paintbrush.
I paint clear.
Whats your color?