Friday, June 7, 2013

Painted clear

I hide Behind a bottle of whiskey
I hide Behind a burning cigarette
I hide behind myself
All Life continues...
My Life seems to remain
Holding onto extinct feelings
Living to feel what cant be felt
Desires to feel it all once again
Wanting to feel loved
Wanting to feel needed
Wanting to feel euphoric
Wanting to just.... feel
Feel Physical feelings
Feel Fleeting feelings
Please fucking let me feel something
But, Feelings never return
Scared
Lonely
Insecure
I dive forward
Leaping Into an abyss of perceived feelings
Breathing expired air
Living for what is no more
I am afraid of tomorrow
I am afraid of yesterday
I am afraid of perception
Once I felt so good
Once i felt so bad
Once, i fucking felt
Feelings never recall themselves
Feelings never care
Feelings are impossible to recreate
I offer words of manipulative wisdom
I offer helping hands
I offer my physical self
Thus, I die every day
Deeper i sink into recollection
Hiding behind the nonsense i speak
Hiding behind perceived intellect
Hiding behind .....my .... Self
Perceived intellect and advice as follows:
Feel alive just one time
Chase that feeling
Chase love
Chase life
Chase the high
Chasing and never leading
Living for moments once had
our feelings become paint
On the canvas of lives we've touched
Our lives, they are our paintbrush.
I paint clear.
Whats your color?

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